...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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