Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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