He told me they were just razor bumps!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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