You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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