The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My bed smells like the plague
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
