go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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