My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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