Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
