Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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