4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
