Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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