Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
