Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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