Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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