easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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