I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
