We won't sleep together?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
