Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
