it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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