I hate all girls vehemently.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
