i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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