At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
