I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He shit in the fireplace
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
