since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
