That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
