you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
