Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
