I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
