Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
