her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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