babies were throwing up all over the place
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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