Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize