Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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