So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
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Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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