thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
