my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish i was in the wii world.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
