I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
