In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize