i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
