So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
