My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
