I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
