i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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