im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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