Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
