I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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