All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
