he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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