took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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