Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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