Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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