That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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