i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
