Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
