i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
