just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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