Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
