drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
