im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the day after is always just damage control
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
