why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
