He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
