you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
