he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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